Shrimad Bhagavata Purana – A Portrayal Of Fantacies And Idiosyncrasies

Acharya Dharmakirti has enumerated five characteristics of ennui and stupefaction. One of them is to consider the scripture as perfect and authoritative. The tendency to consider a religious book not only as sacred but also as an authority is widely prevalent among gullible followers. These followers do not have any knowledge of its essence and contents, though most of the contents of these “holy” scriptures have been proved fallacious on the basis of reason and reality.

Today, when scientists have determined that the distance between Earth and Moon is about 3,84,403 Km, and the distance between Earth and Sun is about 150 million Km, where is the sense in asserting that according to the ‘Vishnu Puran’ – the Sun is nearer to the earth and the moon is far away? Everybody is aware that the knowledge of the Puraniks about Astronomy and other sciences was limited, almost absurd, and their imagination ran riot when they made tall claims. There is still a large section of bigoted die-hards who are not only proud of the supposedly great legacy of the Puranas, but also make loud declaration that most scientific discoveries are exclusively based on “scientific” Hindu scriptures and have been stolen by the Western people!

One such Maha Puranic texts of Hindu literature is the ‘Shrimadbhaghwat Puran’ (Shrimad Bhagavata Purana) which is full of devotion towards Vishnu and Krishna. (The said granth consists of 12 Skandas[cantos] with 18,000 verses).

The Shrimadbhaghwat Puran occupies place of great reverence and honor among the Hindus in general and among the Vaishnav community in particular. On the basis of ancient tradition Bhaghwat Saptah [recitation made for seven days] is often organized with great religious exhibitionism along with rhetoric expression in praise of the said Puran.

Shrimadbhaghwat Puran is full of absurdities and idiosyncrasies, but I have chosen only few of the wonderful and miraculous “discoveries” of the Puranic era for the readers.

1. Have you ever heard about the ‘scented excreta’ emanating like a fragrance in the air for upto tenYojnas [about 30 miles]? Saint Rishibdev performed all his day-to-day functions while sitting or sleeping, and never stood up. His body remained immersed in his excreta [faecal and urine], and the fragrance of his scented excreta could be smelt for around a 30 miles radius. [Ref. Bhaghwat Puran,Skand 5,chapter5]
2. King Yuvanshava had no son and retired together with his wives to a forest. The seers felt merciful and in order to help the king arranged a fertility ceremony known as Indra -Yajna. One night, the King felt thirsty and entered the sacrificial arena; seeing all the seers fast sleep, he drank sanctified water that was meant for giving birth to a child. Thereafter when the time was ripe, from the lower abdomen of King Yuvanshava, on his right side, a son was born with all the qualities of a good king, who would later be known as King Trasaddasya.
   No doubt, modern medical science [obstetrics] today does not have enough expertise to repeat such a wonderful achievement. [Ref.ibid-Skand 9, chapter 6]
3. When King Vena died without having a son, the wise man decided to churn the thighs of the dead King with great force. Thereupon a person named Bahuka [the dwarf] was born who later attained the status as King Nishada. His descendants were thereupon called Nishad. Again a case of extra-ordinary achievement which cannot be repeated today despite tremendous advances in medical science. [Ref. Ibid,Skand 4,chapter 14]
4. There are four mountains in four different directions of the Sumeru Mountain – Mandar in the East, Merumandar in the  South, Suparshv in the West and Kumad in the North. These four mountains are like the legs of the Main Mountain. The area of each is described to be around 80,000 miles. Each of them bears a different tree at  its peak – Mango, Roseapple, Neulea and Banyan. They serve as their flags and are 1100 Yojnas [about 3300 miles] high! [Ref.Ibid.Skand 4 ,chapter 6].
5. King Satyadhriti was an expert in archery. His son Shardwan after seeing beautiful Urvashi could not control his carnal desire. His semen falling on a clump of Sara grass resulted in the birth of one male and one female child. King Shantanu, while wandering in the forest, took up both children out of compassion. He named the male child Kripa and female child Kripi, who later became Dronacharya’s wife. [Ref.Ibid,Skand 9, chapter 24 ].
6. After receiving the semen of Kashypa deposited in her womb, Diti was afraid that the process will destroy the power of others and lead to complete darkness in all directions, like a fire loaded with too much firewood; she retained the said semen in her womb for 100 years! [Ref.Ibid,Skand 3, chapter 15].
7. Thereupon finding fault with her, Indra, the master of Yog-Maya and mystical powers, entered the womb of Diti while she was asleep. The embryo had a golden appearance; he cut it into seven pieces with his thunderbolt and further divided each piece into seven pieces. All cut pieces with folded hands said, “O’ Ruler, why do you want to kill us, we are your brothers.”[Ref.Ibid,Skand 6, chapter 18.]
8. During the battle between the demigods and demons, demigods rode Elephants, Camels; White and Red-faced Monkeys; Tigers and Lions. Some of them rode Vultures, Eagles, Ducks, Hawks, Killer Whales, Buffaloes, Cows, Bulls, Jackals, Rats, Lizards ,Rabbits, Goats, Black Deer, Swans and Boars. [Ref.Ibid ,Skand 8, chapter 10].
9. Raja Priyvat in order to convert night as brilliant as the day, followed the Sun seven times with an identical speed in his Chariot. While following the Sun, the wheels and the rim of his Chariot made trenches which ultimately resulted in the emergence of the seven seas. The whole process divided the heavenly sphere around the earth (Bhu-mandal) into seven islands.[Ref.Ibid.Skand 5, chapter 1].
10. There are seven seas on the earth. One is full of the saltiest water; the other contains pure water; the third is full of milk, the fourth is full of ghee; fifth is full of sugarcane juice; sixth is full of liquor and the seventh is filled with sweet water. [Ref.Skand 5,chapter1].
11. God Shiva, smitten by the glamour of the ravishing beauty of Mohini and not being able to keep his eyes off her, runs shamelessly after her. The well-formed glory of Mohini pleased Shiva and the naked Mohini felt embarrassed and tried to hide herself behind the trees. Lord Shiva excited with lust, like a male elephant on heat, caught her by the braid of her hair and pulled her close to his body against her will. Mohini, with scattered hair,  squirmed like a snake and managed to free herself. She ran quickly and her heavy hips precipitated the illusionary potency of the lord. Oh lord, who never spills in vain went after her like a mad bull chasing a female, could not further control his carnal desire and subsequently his semen was discharged. All those places where his semen fell were converted into silver and gold mines. [Ref.Ibid,skand 8,chapter 12 ].
    

    Image source: http://www.exoticindiaart.com/artimages/mohini_sm.jpg
12. Disrespected by his son who refused to follow his orders, Brahma could not control his anger. During his state of anger a child was born instantly from between the eyebrows of the lord. The child had a color composition of red [for passion] and blue [for ignorance]. [Ref.skand 3, chapter 12 ].
13. Brahma once became concerned about the creation of living creatures. Thereupon in an angry state of mind the lord demolished his own body. O’Nidura were born from the hairs falling from that body, the beings without limbs were created. From their crawling bodies, the snakes and cobras came into existence. [Ref. Ibid ,Skand 3, chapter 20 ].
14. One day when the creator of the world was wondering as to how he should create all the three worlds, exactly the same way they were before, the Vedic literature consisting of four Vedas manifested itself from his four mouths. [Ref. Ibid ,skand 3, chapter 20].
15. In order to avoid anarchy after the death of King Nimi, great seers churned the dead body of the deceased King and accordingly one male baby was born. Due to his uncommon birth, the newly born baby was named as Vaodeha [free from a body]. [Ref., Ibid ,skand 9 ,chapter 13.].
16. As a wedding gift, King Naganjit presented the mighty king ten thousand Cows, three thousand excellently dressed maidens with golden ornaments around their necks, nine thousand elephants, a hundred times as many chariots, with a hundred times as many horses and to that a hundred times as many as there were horses. [ Ref. Ibid ,skand 10 ,chapter 58 ].
17. Infuriated, Balram with the tip of his plow tore close to the city of Hastinapur and dragged the entire city, with the intention of throwing the city deep into the Ganges. [Ref. Ibid ,skand 10 , chapter 68 ].
18. When Lord Brahma was deeply immersed in his thoughts, unexpectedly, one male baby, equaling one thumb, emerged out of the nostril [varah-shishu] and within the divine presence attained the body of an adult elephant. [Ref. Ibid, scand 3, chapter 13 ].
19. When two seers, namely Mitr and Varun, saw the sexy and beautiful Orvashi, they could not control their carnal desire. In a state of extreme excitement their semen was discharged, which they  deposited in a nearby pot. After a while two male babies were born out of the said semen. They later became famous as Agastya and Vashishta.[ Ref. Ibid ,skand 6, chapter 18].
20. Tail piece: King Ugarsen had one ‘neel’ army personal. [Ref. Ibid ,scand 10, chapter 90 ]
    Note: One neel consists of 10,000,000,000,000 men!!!