MYTHS BEING MADE REALITY ;
EXTRAORDINARY NUGGETS FROM BHAGWA BRIGADE !
# "We can feel proud of what our country achieved in medical science at one point of time.We all read about Karna in Mahabharata.If we think a little more,we realise that Mahabharata says Karna was not born from his mother's womb.This means that genetic science was present at that time.That is why Karna could be born outside his mother's womb.[Param Adarniya Pradhan Mantri Ji].
# "We worship Lord Ganesha. There must have been some plastic surgeon at that time who got an elephant's head on the body of a human being and began the practice of plastic surgery."[Param Adarniya Pradhan Mantri Ji].
# "Today we are talking about nuclear tests.Lakhs of years ago,sage Kanad had conducted nuclear test.Our knowledge and science do not lack anything.Astrology is the topmost science in the world and our astrologers dwarfed all other sciences."
[Ramesh Pokhriyal Nishank,BJP MP].
# The RSS is keen on promoting a soft drink made from cow's urine,mixed with products such as Aloe Vera and Gooseberry to fight diseases. "Cow urine offers a cure for around 70 t0 80 incurable diseases like Diabetes.All are curable by cow urine".[Om Prakash,head of RSS's cow protection department].
# In his book Tejomay Bharat,Dinanath Batra,convenor of Shiksha Bachao Andolan Samiti,claimed that stem cell research was invented by an Indian Dr.Ganpat Matapurkar,who was inspired by the Mahabharata.
# Related tailpiece :Union HRD Minister Smriti Irani will one day be the country's president.[BJP politicians astrologer in Bhilwara].

POLITICAL SYCOPHANCY ~CHAMCHAGIRI !
The ever vogue art of political sycophancy has been integral part of Indian polity since decades.Ever ready to crawl when asked just to bend,epitome of appeasement-cajolement-sycophancy [all in one] politicians along with their respective rank and file have been always there on the stage,though faces of real life actors have exchanged their places from time to time,strictly in accordance to their vested interests,convenience and ulterior motives. They have perfected 'science' of chamachagiri to the extent that they always find themselves well placed on the right side of executive kursi. The chamch culture has survived with innovative excellence irrespective of political tags and ideologies [if any].During infamous days of emergency [1975],Deba Kant Barruah was there to eulogize Indira Gandhi with innovative slogan-Indira is India,India is Indira and today in 21st century we have got Hiren Pathak with his brand new political innovation-Modi is India,India is Modi. Accordingly,following tradition,glorification of the personality cult and larger than life personification of Modi ji is virtually order of the day.
The Indian politician is always peculiar when compared to his fellow politicians world over.The average Indian politician likes to be flattered.The degree of flattery or the height to which it  reaches depends on the party to which he belongs to and to which part of  India he hails from.The south Indian  politicians  especially from  Tamilnadu and Andhra  are adept and amusive in taking sycophancy to great heights,Sychophancy makes them feel happy and brings pleasure to them. On the other hand candour earns their wrath easily.This may be because, fanatic hero worship of the tinsel world is so common in these two states.In these two states there are many film star-turned politicians and sycophancy is also handed down as a legacy from their past connections.Those who want to become their favourites choose the sycophacy route to be in their good books. Of late the sycophancy level has reached new heights and is nauseating.The distressing part of this servility is that many new comers to politics and new political outfits also take this as a benchmark and resort to this kind of subservience to reach their goals.The degree of sycophancy is measured by its size and how large it is.One can guess the size of the sycophancy by the size of the garland. The more it is, bigger  are the sycophants

SARCASTIC LINGUISTIC SATIRE !

अगर शोले संस्कृत में होती तो..

१.......बसंती इन कुत्तों के सामने मत नाचना
|| हे बसन्ति एतेषां श्वानानाम् पुरत: मा नृत्य||

२.......अरे ओ सांबा, कितना इनाम रखे हैं सरकार हम पर?
||हे साम्बा, सर्वकारेण कति पारितोषिकानि अस्माकं कृते उद्घोषितानि?

३.......चल धन्नो आज तेरी बसंती की इज्जत का सवाल है
||धन्नो, (चलतु वा) धावतु अद्य तव बसन्त्य: लज्जाया: प्रश्न: अस्ति |

४.......जो डर गया समझो मर गया
|| य भीत:भवेत् स:मृत:एव मन्य ||

५.......आधे इधर जाओ, आधे उधर जाओ और बाकी हमारे पीछे आओ
|| केचन पुरुषा:अत्र गच्छन्तु केचन पुरुषा: तत्र गच्छन्तु शेषा:पुरुषा:मया सह आगच्छतु||

६......सरदार, मैने आपका नमक खाया है
||हे प्रधानपुरुष: मया तव लवणम् खाद्यते ||

७.......अब गोली खा.
||अधुना गोलीम् खाद ||

८.......सुअर के बच्चो...

||हे सुकराणां अपत्यानि.....||

९.......तेरा क्या होगा कालिया...|
हे कालिया तव किं भवेत् ?

१०......ये हाथ मुझे दे दे ठाकुर
॥ ठाकुर, यच्छतु मह्यं तव करौ ||

११......हम अंग्रेजों के जमाने के जेलर है|
||अहं आंग्लपुरुषाणाम् समयस्य कारानिरीक्षक: अस्ति ||

१२..... तुम्हारा नाम क्या है बसंती?
||बसन्ति किं तव नामधेयम् ?

१३......होली कब है, कब है होली..?
||कदा होलिकोस्तव: कदा होलिकोस्तव:?

BAFFLING AND INEXPLICABLE RELIGIOUS DICTUM FOR MUSLIM WOMEN !
1. It is a sin to pluck your eyebrows.

2. It is against Islamic doctrine to have pictures in your home.

3. If a Muslim wife refuses to wear a veil, others will see her as her husband's slave rather than his wife.

4. The punishment for having unmarried sex is whipping with a hundred lashes and then being exiled for a year.

5. Getting into Paradise is usually not a sure thing. Your good deeds must outweigh your bad deeds, but who knows for sure if they do? But there are three things you can do to guarantee you'll you'll you'll make it to Paradise: a) killing a non-Muslim in battle, b) if two of your children were killed fighting for Allah, or c) memorizing the ninety-nine names of Allah.

6. Allah not just allows, but encourages Muslims to deceive non-Muslims if it will further the goals of spreading Islam.

7. Women are not allowed to wear hair extensions or a wig.

8. Wearing the color yellow is forbidden.

9. A Muslim must avoid yawning. Mohammad said, "Yawning is from Satan."

10. Dogs should be killed. All dogs.

11. Mohammad recommended women breastfeed young men. Then the men are considered family and would be allowed to talk to the woman unveiled. However, once she breastfed him, he would not be allowed to marry her.

12. It is a sin to lie on your back and cross your feet.

 Islam = Submission

For those of you who don’t know this, Islam means submission.  It’s supposed to mean submission to Allah but since Allah doesn’t speak directly to anyone, not even Mohammed who had the arch-angel Gabriel act as intermissary, no one can be sure what it is Allah wants you to do.  Muslims usually point out that the Koran is the literal word of Allah yet completely discount the possibility that Mohammed was 7th century Charles Manson and as such, his recitations of what the arch-angel told him might have been a load of self-serving sociopathic permissiveness.  Like how Allah conveniently told Mohammed could temporarily acknowledge and pay his respects to the gods of Makkah and al-Madinah, yup, got to love a guy like Mohammed without the balls to stand up for his own faith.  At least in the Jesus story the point is that it is better to die horribly for what you believe in than to tell a lie to save your own skin.

There is also this idea that submission is somehow virtuous, but it is merely temporarily pragmatic in the case of being threatened with violence and cowardly if you have a free choice.  Submission is a violent act against the individual.  A person who submits cannot agree or offer their advice, labour or company freely, they are compelled to because they have ceased to be an autonomous person but have become a slave.  Submission means slavery, as anyone with a knowledge of BDSM knows, they would also know that it is degrading to be treated as such. Yet Islam is a religion that considers owning and dominating people to be virtuous.  This opposes everything our culture’s ideal of equal, universal and inalienable human rights stands for.  To endorse Islam is to surrender your human rights and dignity.

Allah tells Muslims to submit to his will or he will torture and torment you in the after life for eternity.  Don’t be misled, that’s the same thing as me putting a gun to your head and telling you to give me all your money or I would kill you.  Be smart, be brave, be proud and don’t submit.

DHIMMITUDE FOR NON MUSLIMS/INFIDELS !

You can always judge a religion by how well it treats it’s non-adherents.  In Islam they have perfected the art of abolishing the dignity of non-adherents.  They have developed this concise set of rules:

A. If they are Jewish or Christian, classify them as ‘dhimmis‘ and make them pay a special ‘tax’ (the jizya) to the Islamic endorsed government in return for not being murdered by Muslims.  If they do not pay up then enslave, rob, rape and lynch them as you please.

B. If they are not Jewish nor Christian, then enslave, rob, rape and lynch them as you please.

C. If they are atheists. Kill them.

D. If they were Muslim and became apostates then kill them.  Kill them now, with scalding water.

So the options are submit (slavery), submit (convert to Islam) or submit (be killed).

POLITICAL CHAMCHAGIRI ;
SYCOPHANCY SPECIALISTS !
And when it comes to India's teen deviyaan,the triumvirate of formidable politicians who dominate Indian politics,namely Jaya,Mamta and Maya,the chamcha is thrown into an orgy of self -abnegation akin to blind worshippers rolling in the mud in a fervid religious cult. There are those who stay prostrate on the ground at Amma's feet weeping for her attention and demanding that she bless them by a kick or two,there are those queuing up behind Mayawati's gargantuan birthday cake for the sheer ecstasy of breaking of a piece of blue icing to gingerly place between the supreme leader's gnashing teeth,and there are those tollywood stars in Bengal intoning Trinamool ideology in unison like recently learnt mathematical times table to win the favour of their divine didi,never mind if only a few years ago they had intoned similarly for the left.